They say, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” … or tea, margaritas, lemon pepper chicken - whatever the hell you want. Cliché? Yes. But if you think about it, TRULY think about it, what other choice do you have? Everyone has problems, but the same three general solutions: cry about it, ignore it, or fix it. On paper, the obvious choice is to skip the other two and “fix it,” right? Sadly, the hardest part about “fixing it” is formulating a resolution to the problem at hand. That’s why people usually resort to the first two before actually making any moves.
My mom (I don’t know how credible of a source you think this is lol) always says, “Do what’s going to make you happy,” and I always reply with, “BUT THAT’S JUST IT! I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO MAKE ME HAPPY!!!!!!” which is typical of most people’s thoughts in times of trouble or when making major life decisions. So if this sounds like you, don’t agonize yourself; you’re not alone :]
Harrison Ford once said, “Happiness is something you have to learn.” If there’s anything I’ve learned in my short lifetime, it’s that there’s always something to be happy about. You just have to find that little glimmer of hope when all seems lost. When it comes down to it, life is a big, fat, ugly bitch and will eat you alive when you’re on the floor crying if you don’t do something quick to protect yourself. So what do you do? Force happiness upon yourself! Remember, positive vibes yield positive outcomes. I promise, you’ll come to a conclusion and happiness will follow.
The sucky thing about life is that JUST when you think you have it all figured out and have made a decision about what you want and what you think makes you happy, life throws you a curve ball (and sometimes a punch to the face) to confuse the shit out of you. Does that mean the conclusions you’ve accrued are wrong? Does that mean the decision you made is not in accordance with what you really want? No. Why? Because life likes to test people. Life wants to see how bad you want it; to see if what you THINK you want is really worth the punch or the curve ball. In other words, life wants to see if you’ll do what it takes to get/keep what you want because it’s worth it, or if you’ll concede because it’s not. And if that’s the case, then it’s probably not what you want.
The funny part is most people are stupid and selfish. So much so, that they are so focused on what they WANT that they don’t see what’s best for them – they stop focusing on what they DESERVE. Truth is, that thing that you “WANT” is likely to provide only temporary happiness; it’s what you deserve that will keep you happy. And if that’s the case, then wouldn’t you deduce that what you deserve is worth any punch or curve ball in the world?
My advice: don’t be scared tomake moves and take risks. It’s the people that wait in immobility that live in regret.
But hey, maybe you’re an asshole, and you deserve to be miserable. Your problem, not mine ;]
The Break Up. In its entirety, this movie was pretty copacetic. But I’m pretty sure what made this movie better was the fact that any person that’s been in a serious relationship can relate to all of the feelings and emotions that the Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston depicted throughout the movie. Although it was their characters that portrayed all of the emotion, the one quote that spoke to me all these years (since the movie was released) was one not said by either of them:
“And no matter what she did and how hard she tried, you were never gonna let your guard down. That poor girl never stood a chance.”
It was said by the guy who observes the relationship from a close distance; the guy who listens and sees both sides of the story from time to time. It’s the guy that has both people’s best interest at heart and hopes only happiness for everyone involved. It’s the guy who most people call, “the best friend.”
It’s been about 4 years since the movie was released, yet I always find myself thinking about this quote for various instances of my life… as well as for instances in the lives of those I care about; the people that confide in me their deepest troubles. The stories always start out the same - I’m trying so hard, putting effort and emotion forward, but from it comes no change, no happiness, no results. Then the ultimate question comes about: “What do I do, Joelle? How do I fix it?” But the funny part is, the answer is always sitting right in front of our faces - we just never see it.
Often times people don’t realize that the person right next to them has all the answers. In the break up, it was the “best friend” who was the “eye opener.” He was able to articulate two short sentences to bring about immediate action to the friend who was screwing up his relationship. However, it’s not always going to be your “best friend” to reveal to you the little, yet crucial details you tend to miss. For the girl that spent nights crying over the guy that’s not nearly good enough for her, it was probably his inefficiency in school and his inability to effectively communicate with you. But the sad part is, you just didn’t notice. For the guy whose grades didn’t get him into the professional school he was aiming for, it was probably your roommate who kept his face in his sets of books while you put yours between sets of “twins” because you never enjoyed what you were studying (well… and for other reasons too lol). But the sad part is, you just didn’t notice. For the guy who invested months of emotion, effort, and money in a relationship with a girl that’s selfish and naive, it was probably the various consecutive nights of unnecessary fighting and the endless list of sweet gestures you gave that were repeatedly ignored. But the sad part is, you just didn’t notice. And for the girl who sits and cries alone, in hopes that one day the guy she loves will love her just as much as she loves him, it’s probably the way he keeps you there without any commitment, while he works on other girls. But the sad part is, you just didn’t notice. Cynical so far? Yes. But here’s the glimmer of “hope” - take the time to notice. People are so busy looking everywhere else for answers that they don’t see what’s right underneath their eyes, especially in regards to relationships (it reminds me of that song by Brian McKnight, “Cherish,” but that’s a whole different essay lol). Guys always think that girls (and vice versa) are so hard to read but for the most part, our actions spell everything out. The only hard part is trying to figure out when to give up; when to stop what we started and to start something new because we “never stood a chance,” that is, because it was never meant to be. The key is taking the time to notice the clues that tell us. Who knows? Maybe, if we’re lucky, our “best friend” will be able to open our eyes to all the good stuff that we missed.
“i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef…i kept calling it the ‘double edged sword’” -TEXTSFROMLASTNIGHT.COM
my family in San Jose. my bitches from ND. my puppy named Bear. my friends from Kilusan. Alpha Phi Omega heads. when school was easy. playing volleyball. Coach Bob.
…& all sorts of other things :( i need a drink. let’s go, friday night!
